Master, Not Owner

Hello everyone.

Yes, Master is back at home, and I am back to my normal routines. It’s been an interesting month. And I would be lying if I didn’t say things have shifted in my life. Not really sure how to explain it.

Master had returned from visiting His family. He called me often, and we had long talks. Most of the time he talked and I was the good slave and listened. Trying to support him from 1800 miles away.

At the airport, as he came down the escalator, that first look at him made my world stop. I wasn't angry; I wasn’t happy; I was numb. Like instantly numb.

Master was smiling when he saw me as he limped down the escalator with a cane. He had a broken ankle. My Master had been injured while away, and I guess didn't think it was important enough ot tell His slave?

Happiness instantly turned to upset. I had no idea my Master, my protector, got hurt. I was never told, never had a clue something was wrong.

That first hug, the tears were more for me than for him. I felt betrayed. Like I wasn’t important enough to be told my Master had an accident. What if it had been worse? His family barely knows I exist, and those that do are not really sure who I am in his life. So if it were worse, would I be told?

So much was going through my head that I didn't really hear what he was telling me about breaking his ankle while hiking down a rugged hill with some family members.

Master sensed my mood change immediately and tried to push it off as me being overdramatic.

I don’t remember talking too much on the ride home. Well, except that I missed him and I needed to taste Him, so I offered to suck His cock. Some roadhead may help my thinking. His response was “That's my girl,” as I unzipped his pants.

At home, I stayed dressed as we sat on the couch to talk. I needed to get clear about this and why I was not important enough to be told what happened. And the thought of, had it been worse, would his family have notified me?

Granted, we both agreed that as a slave, I need to be 100% open with him, but we never really made it clear what he needs or should tell his slave. He went off what my rules were with my Owner. And that was on a need-to-know basis. But I felt this was a need-to-know item. My Master is hurt.

Slave. Not Owned

Maybe I’m splitting hairs here. But when I surrendered myself to my late Owner, He became my owner, and I became His property. He owned every fiber of my body and soul and had consent to use me as he wanted to, no questions asked. We don’t have this here. THIS is different.

We are in a somewhat vanilla relationship compared to what I had with my Owner. Since I was never married before, I never had a good relationship end, followed by a new, similar relationship. So maybe this is what the feelings or reactions would be in, like, a situation when people remarry?

Again, I may be splitting hairs here. But when it comes to things like this, I knew my Owner would have told me. He would also have told me whether He wanted me there, and I would have obeyed.

We are Master/slave. That is different in thinking than Owner/property.

I did not realize until now how far down that rabbit hole I went with my late Owner. How much emotionally connected I was to Him, and He was to me.

I voluntarily slept in my own bedroom the next couple of nights. I still honored his morning routine, but he slept alone and did not push it. He did fuck me, but it wasn’t pleasurable for either of us.

More like, grabbed my hair, pushed me down to kneel, then on my back. Kicking my legs open. He fucked me, unloaded, then shoved his cock down my throat to clean, then walked away. Neither of us said a word. Any other time I may have had an orgasm, but this was just a down-and-dirty, much-needed release for both of us!

I guess maybe this is like a mourning period. After a few days, we sat down again and talked. I understood his side. I didn't like it, but I understood it. He saw my side and agreed; this was something that needed to be discussed but never was.

Last weekend, I did ask to be punished for my behavior. He didn't think I deserved to be punished, but would do so if I needed it. I needed it.

Sometimes a good punishment session can clear your thoughts better than anything else. More on that later.

Just know that everything is good; we just have a few little things in how we interact that have changed, and we communicate much better now than before. And YES, his parents will meet me when they are out here in August.

Thank you for your love and support.

Love Always,
B slave